


“you’ll see, seungmin-ah”

by serenity_axel



Series: Stray Kids: OT9 [3]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Chan appears for like 3 seconds, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Seungmin only gets sick for maybe 5 seconds, Sick Character, other than that he’s only mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-03-14
Packaged: 2019-03-31 04:12:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13967082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/serenity_axel/pseuds/serenity_axel
Summary: Seungmin has trouble sleeping at night. He thinks it might have something to do with the loss of two members.





	“you’ll see, seungmin-ah”

Seungmin has trouble sleeping at night. He supposed it started with the occasional wake up at 4 a.m. after Minho was eliminated, but then it escalated into full out insomnia once Felix was sacked, too. The dorm was quieter than when it had been all nine of them. Quieter and more sullen, full of apprehensive thoughts and feelings that were produced as the reality of their situation grew apparent: they could be eliminated. Some of them may not debut. Sone of them will be left behind.

He only hoped that Minho and Felix were the last of the eliminations.

Seungmin flopped out of his bed, quickly realizing that sleep wasn't going to come anytime soon. He headed out to the kitchen and filled a glass of water, setting it down on the small coffee table by the couch. He leaned into the cushions and contemplated his trainee years, the show, his friends, their desperation.

"Seungmin?"

Seungmin turned around to see Jeongin, the sweet maknae, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "What are you doing awake?" he whispered.

Jeongin draped himself across Seungmin's lap. He wrapped his arms around the maknae, peering curiously into the younger's troubled eyes.

"I'm scared," Jeongin admitted after a moment's silence.

"Me too."

"What if it doesn't end?"

Seungmin knew what Jeongin was referring to. How could he not? "Let's just keep working hard," he said.

"But what if it's not enough?"

Seungmin gently ran his fingers through Jeongin's dark hair. He knew, this, too.

"It's ok. We'll make sure you're safe. We'll protect each other."

They stayed quiet after that for some time, Jeongin's head in his lap, Seungmin playing with his hair. Like this, he drifted into a slumber. Quickly, this became routine. Seungmin would toss and turn, eventually going out into the living room, quietly sipping a glass of water, and Jeongin would come stay with him until both of them went to sleep. For months, their nights were like this.

One night, and Seungmin could clearly remember it, Jeongin didn't come. He had grown used to cuddling with the younger, and now without him, he found that sleep evaded him. Seungmin decided to check up on the maknae, maybe call him out if he was still awake. But Jeongin was nowhere to be found in his room. Jisung, Changbin, and Hyunjin were fast asleep, completely oblivious to the maknae's absence, and Seungmin wondered where Jeongin could be. Surely, he's not out practicing. Right? Chan wouldn't allow that.

So Seungmin wandered over to the leader's room, hoping that maybe a night spent with Chan would ease his heartache. Hand on the doorknob, ready to twist the door open, Seungmin heard soft sniffles inside. Woojin didn't cry like that. He had never heard Chan cry before, so maybe . . . ? Quietly, he pushed the door open a crack. What he saw wasn't Woojin or Chan crying. He saw a lump beside Chan, a head of dark hair, shoulders shaking, and the heartbreaking sobs of—

 _Oh_.

As quickly and quietly as possible, Seungmin closed the door, feeling as if he had intruded on a special moment. His heart sank, feeling hurt and _irritated_ that he felt hurt because Jeongin had gone to Chan instead of him. It shouldn't bother him; they had all gone to Chan sometime or another because they were feeling discouraged, or homesick, or sad. It was a natural thing to do. But somehow, Seungmin found himself wanting that quiet time he and the maknae had spent in the wee hours of the night, silently bearing each other's troubles.

So instead, he headed to Jisung's bed. Taking care to not wake up the others, Seungmin slid under the covers beside Jisung, softly murmuring in his ear, "I couldn't sleep. You don't mind, right?"

Groggily, the rapper opened his eyes and turned to Seungmin, who was still hanging half way off the bed. Jisung moved over to make room for the vocalist, then wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close.

"Don't worry, Seungmin," Jisung replied softly. "It's nine or none."

"Minho and Felix are already gone."

"They'll come back. You'll see."

When Seungmin didn't say anything, Jisung fixed him with a hard gaze. "We're all going to make it through this. Ok? You'll see. You'll make it, too."

Seungmin remained silent. As much as he appreciated his hyungs, he couldn't help but feel resentful that they kept holding on to these useless thoughts. "You, Chan, and Woojin," he said, "you're all idiots."

Jisung grinned. "You'll see. Then you'll have to buy me ramen. Deal? If we debut as nine, treat me."

Seungmin rolled his eyes. Staring straight into Jisung's playful stare, he said, "Ok. Deal."

—-

Logically, it made sense. Minho wouldn't give up; Minho would keep working hard, still trying to debut. So Seungmin really should've expected it when he ran into him on the way over to a practice room.

"M-Minho," he stuttered out awkwardly.

Minho greeted him warmly, smiling. "Seungmin-ah."

They went out for lunch. Guilt knotted itself in Seungmin's stomach as Minho asked questions about the group, how they were doing.

"We're . . . not that ok," he admitted. "Half the time, Chan and Jisung and Woojin are telling us not to worry, and the other half we're moping, imagining the worst ways this could end . . . ." He trailed off, feeling horrible that two members being eliminated wasn't the worst that could happen.

Minho poked his arm. "You guys can't give up. You know that, right? Me and Felix will hate you forever if you do."

Seungmin grinned reassuredly. "Don't you know? Chan won't allow us to."

Minho laughed. "I guess you're right."

The two silently finished their food. As they parted ways, Minho grabbed his shoulder to keep him from turning away. "Seungmin." He smiled sadly. "I'll never forget you crying for me, that night on stage."

Seungmin swallowed the lump in this throat uncomfortably. "And I'll never forget how you and Felix belong with us."

Again, Minho smiled sadly. He patted Seungmin's shoulder and turned away. As Seungmin watched his back, he couldn't help thinking, _I hope Jisung gets his free meal._

—-

After that surprise meeting with Minho, Seungmin began practicing harder than ever. With everyone, actually, the atmosphere changed. They were more serious, more determined, more desperate. Seungmin drank lots of water every day to make sure what happened just before the company competition never happened again, especially now. Especially now. He refused to let Minho and Felix down, and he saw the same conviction within everyone else—in their expressions and sharp dancing, in their singing and rapping tones.

One day, as Seungmin laced up his tennis shoes and prepared to go to the practice room, Woojin approached him. He said, "Where are you going? We have the day off today."

"I have to practice," Seungmin replied.

Woojin frowned. "You've been pushing yourself too hard lately."

He reached over to squeeze the older's hand reassuringly. "I know my limits. I'm fine, really."

Woojin watched the younger singer leave, doubt prickling inside his chest.

That night, Seungmin caught a fever.

Woojin tended to him, making sure he wasn't too cold, changing the cool cloth on his forehead, checking his temperature every hour. After sometime, Seungmin woke up, slowly opening his eyes as Woojin took his temperature once again.

"What are you doing?" he croaked.

Woojin lightly swatted his arm. "I told you you were overworking yourself. Maybe this will teach you to actually take the day off when we have the day off."

Seungmin snorted. "I don't see you trying to convince Chan of that."

"Chan is a lost cause."

Seungmin laughed.

"Can you please take care of yourself?" Woojin begged. "Promise me."

Seungmin looked into the eldest's pleading eyes, his walls of unhealthy determination finally crumbling. "Ok. I promise."

—-

Seungmin remembered the night Minho was eliminated very clearly. He remembered the chilling words, the despair that came after. He remembered crying, on his own, unable to bring himself to face the eliminated member. The guilt that bubbled up in his throat. _Why did this have to happen,_ he had thought. _What did we do to deserve this? Minho, of all people . . . ._

He also remembered the day Felix was eliminated. How shocked they were that no one had moved until JYP left the room. Even then, nobody could fathom the CEO's decision until a few moments later, whimpering gurgled out of Felix's constricted throat. _Just because of his Korean. Just because of something he can't quite control._

"Learn quickly," Seungmin had whispered when he had embraced Felix. "Then come back. With Minho."

Felix nodded.

Seungmin remembered all of this. He tossed and turned on the bed, memories invading his mind. Finally, he got up and went to the living room. Filled a glass of water. Sipped slowly. Jeongin joined him this time, taking up their usual position: his head on Seungmin's lap, Seungmin carding through his hair with his fingers.

Jisung entered the living room and sat on the other side of Seungmin, guiding the younger's head onto his shoulder. One by one, the rest of the members joined him, until they were all piled on the couch. Even Chan, who normally worked for way too long into the night, had stopped to sit by everyone. It was the first and only time they all slept together.

—-

_They're coming back. Minho and Felix are coming back!_

JYP stepped aside as the door to the practice room opened and revealed the eliminated-now-returned members. They hugged, and cried, and laughed, and smiled—conflicting emotions, anger and happiness. Seungmin buried his head into Minho's shoulder, tearing up just slightly.

"Seungmin-ah, we'll debut as nine," Minho whispered into his ear. "You'll see."

—-

"I'll never forget how you cried like a little girl."

Seungmin burst into peels of laughter. He could hardly deny it, thinking back on the night Minho was eliminated. The other members made fun of him as he imitated himself crying. Jisung mouthed to him, _You owe me a meal._

As the group continued to joke around, Seungmin looked to each member, taking in the tired lines on their faces that contrasted with their energy. The eliminations may have ended, Seungmin couldn't help thinking, but their struggles have not. Their debut and what comes after—they'll all produce different hardships.

Seungmin smiled. _Happy to treat you,_ he mouthed back.


End file.
